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Friday, March 11, 2022

ZOMBIE PIRATES 2014 (TUBI)

Sarah French is about all this film has going for it.

Fred Olen Ray produced this rather bizarre film shot in Mississippi. The story centers around a young woman named Linda (Sarah French) who is seen killing someone by a scientist.

The scientist, Grant (J.C Pennylegion) blackmails her into seeing if the legend about the town they live in is true. The legend concerns a sunken pirate ship and it's crew as well as a huge treasure it was carrying.

If the dead pirates are brought a sacrifice every night for five nights, the one doing the killing will receive a treasure beyond words. That is all well and good, but if even one is missed the pirates will seek a bloody revenge.

Linda agrees to the terms and starts going on a killing spree. Every night after she dumps a body in the ocean a dead pirate gives her a small bag of coins. A police detective gets on the case and then complications start.

I have been told this is a tribute to the "Blind Dead" films of the 1970's, but good god this movie plods along badly. It had so much potential, and it just falls apart. Any of the five "Blind Dead" films are 10 times better than this and move much quicker.

As I said, French is about the ONLY thing this film has going for it. She looks hotter than hell, but alas, a beautiful woman does make a good film. Check it out if you want, but it really wouldn't hurt to pass it by.

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